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"A Religion of Kindness"
Stake member shares acts of kindness through family history
Mark Nye, (Shoal Creek Valley Ward)
I’ve been documenting my family history with FamilySearch.org for many years. Sometimes I will help friends and acquaintances add information about their families to FamilySearch as well. Just over three years ago I was prompted to do this for a friend who has had a positive influence on my life. As in other similar instances, my contributions were made in the spirit of love and service for the family of this individual.Then, just recently, I received a message from a distant relative of my friend inquiring about my contributions to their family tree.
Of course, her first question was whether I was related to the family or not. I explained that I was not and apologized that I could not immediately remember the name of the specific individual whose family I had documented. (Over the years I have helped and served so many others in this way.) However, because she was so fascinated with what I had documented about her family, she wanted to know if I offered my services professionally. I told her that I did not, but that it was something I did as a service for friends and acquaintances. Her response was that though she “hardly qualified as even a mere acquaintance” she would be delighted if I could help her in any way because she was new to FamilySearch.org.
My response to her was that I would be happy to help her. We then agreed to communicate via Zoom the very next week. When I learned a bit more about her extended family, she acknowledged that religion had been a painful topic for her earlier in life. She had seen it cause far more distress than good in her family. For this reason, she verbalized her concern that I might have “a religious agenda in helping [her], like maybe being LDS and wanting to baptize [her] dead family members.” She continued, “I don’t really know, but I have heard things like this. To be clear, I wouldn’t want anything like that going on.”
She then told me that my answer reassured her and said that “‘kindness’ is pretty much the core of [her] religion now, so we are on the same page.” She continued, “As a family therapist, I have known and worked with many lovely LDS individuals and families – including a bishop when helping with a difficult family therapy case and it went great!” My sincere interest was only to help her search out and document her family.
I answered her concern by saying that I had no ulterior motive. My sincere interest was only to help her search out and document her family. I acknowledged my membership in the Church, but stated clearly and honestly that my help was only extended in the spirit of kindness.
She then told me that my answer reassured her and said that “‘kindness’ is pretty much the core of [her] religion now, so we are on the same page.” She continued, “As a family therapist, I have known and worked with many lovely LDS individuals and families – including a bishop when helping with a difficult family therapy case and it went great!”
Having successfully initiated a friendship based on “kindness,” she and I spent two hour-long Zoom sessions as I helped her better know her extended family. As she later said to me, “It really opened up the world to me in a new way.”
The entire experience helped build a friendship between us who once were strangers. It all started with my giving service, in kindness, which was then received with understanding and gratitude from my new friend.
Then, to my good fortune, when recently driving to Utah with my daughter to visit family, I had the occasion to visit my new friend and her husband in Denver. At her invitation, we enjoyed a wonderful dinner together at her home and further strengthened our friendship. In parting, I expressed how much I enjoyed our visit and considered it a blessing for both me and my daughter. In response she said how much she and her husband appreciated the warmth, fun and goodness that we brought with us. And then she added, “After all I have been through in my life with religion and religious issues, I am very careful about the way I use the word ‘blessing.’ Yet, a blessing you both were. I know a blessing now as a deep sense of peace and joy, something that just feels like a touch of the Spirit’s grace. You brought that with you. Thank you.”
In that exchange, how could I not personally feel the presence of the Holy Ghost and the love that our Heavenly Father has for each of His children? My new friend and I now look forward to maintaining our connection through a “religion of kindness.”