Oftentimes in life we are faced with faith-trying times, or decisions where we don’t know how things will end. Should I take a new job? Should my family move to a new city or state? You may accept a new calling that you are unsure how to do or you have a medical condition where the future is uncertain &  you may wonder if you will get better. But what do we do when the answer to our prayers is one we don’t expect, or rather an answer that clearly states what will happen but it’s not what we want?

I experienced this recently when my mother unexpectedly collapsed into a coma. It happened on a Thursday. I received a group text alert from my brother that my mother had called him to come over to her house. She said she wasn’t feeling well & that she felt she was going to pass out. Within minutes of my brother arriving at our mother’s house my mother did in fact collapse and was taken by ambulance to the hospital. My brother went to the hospital & provided updates to us over the next 24 hours. When Friday came most of my siblings decided they would go to Iowa to be there for Mom.  My wife asked me if I was also going to go or if I was going to wait and see if she got better first. I said I was going to pray about it and then decide. That afternoon I knelt in my room and prayed to Heavenly Father on if I should go up and be with my siblings. After my prayer I decided I was going to go mow the yard to try & take my mind off of the situation, as I was having a tough time processing all that had happened in the last 24 hours. About halfway though my mow I received the very distinct impression that I was not to go up to Iowa that night (Friday). The impression and thoughts that I received were very specific: that whenever I went up to see mom, as soon as I would arrive my mother would pass quickly. I was to wait and give my siblings as much time as I could give them to get into town.

During this trial I received the comfort of the Holy Ghost that everything would work out the way Heavenly Father had intended, which did bring peace to my soul, but it didn’t make the drive up Saturday any easier. I knew what was awaiting me when I got there. I had received instant revelation in my time of need and while most people would be thrilled to receive such, I was unsure. How do we respond when the answer confirms maybe our greatest fears? As I drove I thought of the Prophet Joseph Smith when he was arrested and taken to Carthage Jail. He is quoted as saying:  “I am going like a lamb to the slaughter, but I am calm as a summer’s morning…” The Prophet Joseph knew what his fate was, yet he went anyway. This was the kind of faith I needed at this moment. I knew from the impressions I had received what was going to happen to my mother long before my siblings would know. And yet as I continued on my drive I knew that this was all part of Heavenly Father’s plan and I would exercise what faith I had in him and his son, Jesus Christ.

I arrived at the hospital shortly after 2 pm on Saturday afternoon. I met my other siblings in the waiting room outside the ICU and was briefed for about ten minutes on everything.  Mom had still not woken up and was not getting better. I knew there was no point in waiting, so I asked if I could see her. My older brother Mike, who was the one who went to our mother’s house and called 911, said he would take me back. We went through the ICU doors and, just as we reached my mother’s room, the curtains opened and the nurse inside said to my brother:  “Mr. Austin, I was just coming to find you. Bonnie has just woken up and I wanted to see if your family wanted to come see her.” My brother was astonished. For two days he had been by her side with no improvement, yet once I was there she had woken up. I didn’t have the heart to tell him at that moment what lay ahead.

In the end she would indeed pass away a couple hours after I arrived. My siblings and I were able to see mom and say our goodbyes. After she had passed I shared with my brothers what had transpired the day earlier and bore testimony that this was God’s plan and everything worked out the way it was supposed to. I hope this tender mercy the Lord gave me was not lost on them. We have a Heavenly Father who knows us, cares for us, and loves us. Although at times we may think we know best or may want to tell Heavenly Father how our prayers should be answered, I know that is not how things work in the kingdom of our Father. Exercising faith in the face of the unknown can be daunting, sometimes even feel impossible. Yet I have learned that having faith and walking our path when it is spelled out for us (and the answer or ending is not what we want) can feel just as tough if not worse. It is at these times that if we are truly yoked to the Savior we need not fear. I know my Father lives, and his Son, Jesus Christ lives also. When we exercise faith in Christ we truly can overcome all things.